Outsourcing Our Happiness
No matter how old we get or what we’ve been through, one of the toughest lessons to grasp is how to stop looking for our happiness outside of ourselves and figure out how to take control of it. In a world that’s always telling us what should make us happy, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of seeking validation from others and relying on them to make us happy. But the real deal is, true happiness can only come from within. It’s important to dig into why looking for happiness in all the wrong places can mess with our heads, how it messes with our mental well-being, why it’s on us to own our happiness, how to spot when we’re farming out our happiness, and what we can do to snatch it back for ourselves.
The Hazards of Outsourcing Happiness
Outsourcing happiness happens when we look to external things or other people to make us feel good. It might not seem like a big deal, but it can seriously mess with our vibe. When we hand over our happiness to others, we end up feeling like we’re not in control and always needing their approval. It becomes this never-ending cycle of seeking validation and feeling pretty down when we don’t get it.
And you know what? Comparing ourselves to others is a big part of this. Thanks to social media, we’re always measuring our lives against everyone else’s carefully crafted highlight reels. This just makes us feel like we’re falling short and dreaming of a happiness that might not even be our thing. Basically, outsourcing our happiness stops us from living our authentic lives.
The Impact on Mental Health
Outsourcing our happiness really takes a toll on our mental well-being. Relying on outside sources for happiness sets us up for disappointment. The fleeting satisfaction from social media validation or material possessions quickly fades, leaving us wondering, “Is that all there is?” Always seeking external validation and approval can lead to increased stress, ultimately resulting in burnout and emotional exhaustion.
Moreover, outsourcing our happiness can make it harder for us to bounce back from challenges. Depending solely on external factors for joy leaves us vulnerable to life’s unpredictability. Without a solid internal foundation of happiness, we’re left feeling fragile and unprepared to handle life’s ups and downs.
Spotting the Signs of Outsourcing Happiness
Spotting the signs that we’re farming out our happiness is the first step to reclaiming our joy. One big clue is always fishing for approval from others. If we catch ourselves constantly seeking validation, attention, or stressing about what others think of us, it might mean we’re outsourcing our happiness.
Another clue is feeling empty or unsatisfied even after hitting the so-called markers of success. If we’ve reached the goals we thought would bring happiness, yet still feel a sense of emptiness, it could mean we’ve been outsourcing our happiness. Real fulfillment comes from within, not from external achievements or how others perceive us or our successes.
Comparing ourselves to others can be a slippery slope, leading to envy and feelings of not being good enough. When we keep sizing up our worth based on external stuff, we can downplay our own value. We might start undervaluing our own accomplishments and qualities because they don’t seem as impressive as others’.
Let’s be real, people mostly show off the best parts of their lives on social media, peddling a facade or picture-perfect illusion. Comparing our everyday lives to the strategically edited highlight reels of others can set unrealistic standards and make us discontent with our own reality.
Embracing Responsibility for Your Own Happiness
Taking charge of our own happiness is key for our overall well-being. When we realise that our happiness is in our hands, we empower ourselves to make choices that line up with our values and goals. Understanding that outside stuff doesn’t control our happiness gives us the power to create a meaningful life on our own terms.
Owning our happiness lets us build a sense of self-worth that doesn’t rely on outside approval. By recognising our own value and deserving nature, we don’t need external validation anymore. This self-confidence boosts our self-esteem and gives us a stronger sense of self.
Instead of depending on outside sources for joy, we develop inner strength that can carry us through tough times. This resilience helps us bounce back from setbacks and keep a positive outlook on life.
"Stop giving other people the power to control your happiness, your mind, and your life. If you don't take control of yourself and your own life, someone else is bound to try."
Roy T. Bennett Tweet
Strategies for Reclaiming Your Happiness
Reclaiming our own happiness is a transformative journey that demands self-reflection and deliberate action. Here are some effective strategies to help us take back control of our joy:
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Prioritise Self-Care: Engage in self-care activities that bring joy and fulfillment, such as pursuing hobbies, spending time in nature, practicing mindfulness, or exploring creative outlets. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and relaxation techniques are also essential for nurturing our happiness.
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Limit Exposure to Negativity: To safeguard our mental well-being, it’s crucial to minimize exposure to negative news, toxic individuals, and excessive social media. Surround yourself with supportive and positive people and consider reducing social media usage for a significant boost to your mental well-being.
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Cultivate Gratitude: Shift your focus to the positive aspects of your life and maintain a gratitude journal to appreciate the abundance in your life, fostering a more positive outlook.
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Embrace Individuality: Rather than comparing ourselves to others, celebrate our unique strengths and achievements, fostering a more genuine and sustainable form of happiness.
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Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to activities or relationships that drain your energy and do not contribute to your happiness, prioritizing your well-being and needs.
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Seek Inspiration, Not Comparison: Use others’ achievements as inspiration for personal growth and development, avoiding feelings of inadequacy.
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Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, acknowledging that it’s natural to make mistakes or have moments of vulnerability.
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Focus on Internal Values: Identify your core values and align your actions with them to create an authentic and fulfilling life true to yourself.
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Seek Professional Help When Needed: Don’t hesitate to seek the support of a therapist or counselor if you are struggling with your mental well-being.
For me, happiness comes from being around my dogs, all dogs, and spending time in and around water. What brings you happiness?